Beavis and Butthead - S1E1 - "Frog Baseball"

Beavis and Butthead

Season 1

Episode 1

"Frog Baseball"
Original Airdate: 9/4/1992

Synopsis: The boys flip through the TV as we are introduced to their now iconic laugh.

Following the title card, we see Beavis lighting a firecracker in the anal region of a flying insect.  After blowing it to smithereens, The boys rejoice by jamming to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man."  While doing this, they then see a frog in the distance and declare, FROG BASEBALL!!!" 

As Beavis pitches 3 perfect strikes to strikeout Butthead, he gets smashed in the back of the head with the bat.  Butthead then throws the frog in the air, and hits it with the bat decimating it.  The boys celebrate as they rock out to Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water."  While doing this, they see a dog in the background, and declare, "DOG BASEBALL!!!"  Before a credits card airs stating no animals were harmed in the making of the short as the sound of a dog whimpering is heard in the background.

Character Introductions:

Beavis - Crazy, more mentally unstable of the two idiots.  His ridged voice provides some of the more ridiculous aspects we see.  His alter ego, Cornholio, usually appears when Beavis is hyped up on something.  His on-going mission, to find "TP for his bunghole."

Butthead - Leader of the two idiots.  He speaks with a speech impediment.  Butthead shows slightly more common sense, and mental stability than Beavis.  He still has his share of bad ideas, and is not as smooth at times when he needs to be. 

Frog - Unfortunate Baseball stand-in for Beavis and Butthead.  He is smashed to death when Butthead hits him with the baseball bat during "Frog Baseball."

Mrs. Hagen's Poodle - Replacement "baseball" during "Dog Baseball" after Beavis and Butthead destroy the frog at the conclusion of "Frog Baseball."

Highland or Bust:

1 different locations:
- Field in Highland

Best Jokes:

Beavis and Butthead: (After seeing a frog in the field) FROG BASEBALL!!!

Beavis: STRIKE!!!
*Butthead smacks Beavis in the back of the head with the baseball bat*
Butthead: Ball! heh heh

Beavis and Butthead: (After seeing a poodle) DOG BASEBALL!!!

Notable Notations:

- Episode Runtime: 2:18

- Produced for the "Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation."

- First aired on MTV's "Liquid Television."

- Frog Baseball would return in the Season 8 episode "Snitchers"

Conclusion:

Made for those who enjoy stupid humor.  You need to be able to understand the humor to truly get it.  This may be violent and sadistic, but it's funny in that you cannot believe what they're doing.  Many of us have probably had the longing to hit a home run with a frog, but never actually did so because it feels wrong.  This made it the perfect opening episode for the two boys who are intensely morally challenged.  This short produced by Mike Judge for MTV was retained for 8 more seasons.

1/222

Family Ties - S1E2 - "Not With My Sister You Don't"

Family Ties

Season 1

Episode 2

"Not With My Sister You Don't"
Original Airdate: 9/29/1982

Synopsis: The episode opens up with the parents packs up to head out for the weekend.  Steven and Elyse get into an argument about how competitive he will be with the Davis'.  Elyse worries about the kids as it is the first time they have been left home alone by themselves.  The kids reassure her as they depart.  After they close the door, the kids quickly race for the phone to plan out the biggest party in town.

After the opening credits, we are back in the living room where a huge plethora of teenagers are hanging out dancing, making out, taking pictures, an d just having a good time.  Alex scolds Jennifer for taking pictures of the party.  As Jennifer leaves, Mallory hunts down Alex, and points out the guy she likes is at the party.  She excitedly asks Alex about him, and wants him to introduce  him to her.  Eric walks over and talks to Alex and is introduced to Mallory.  After they meet, Mallory offers to grab him a drink, and excuses herself.  Eric talks with Alex, and tries to decide which girl he likes the most at the party.  Alex begins realizing that Mallory may be his girl of the night.  As Mallory returns with drinks, she dismisses him, and he ducks into the kitchen.  Mallory has a drink with Eric.

Steven and Elyse unpack int heir rental, and discuss what they what to do at the resort and get into an argument about Steven's competitiveness.  Ron and Suzanne arrive and the competition between Steven and Ron is evident.  Elyse and Suzanne talk about how they hope the competition will be a non-issue.  Steven and Ron talk about the difference in room size.

Back at the party, someone turns the lights off and Alex, attempting to control the situation, turns them back on declaring house rules.  Debbie suggests they can have more fun in the dark.  Alex obliges, but as she leans in for a kiss, the phone rings.  Debbie stumbles as Alex dodges her en route to the phone.  Alex answers the phone and it's Steven and Elyse.  Jennifer says hello, and lets Alex know Mallory went away with Eric.  Alex begins to freak out.

After the party ends, Alex explains to Jennifer what's going on with Mallory and Eric.  Jennifer complains of a stomach ache and has Alex rub her belly "like mom always does."  Alex does his best to help her, but it's not the same, so she asks him to sing.  Ever the Patriot, he remarks that the only song he knows the words do is "The Star Spangled Banner."  They agree on a different song, and within seconds, Jennifer is fast asleep on the couch.  Alex tucks her into the couch.  As he is doing so, Mallory returns home.  Alex gets into a nasty argument with Mallory going on about what she did with Eric.  Playing parent, he asks Mallory to sit down and explain what she's been doing the past evening.

Back at the cabin, the couples return from a dancing competition, and Ron rubs their victory in Steven's face over winning.  As the exhausted women look on, Ron and Steven recount point totals on the day for which couple is winning the overall competition.  Ron and Steven then prepare for a game of Monopoly, while Elyse and Suzanne grow bitter at the men.  Ron and Suzanne have an argument over dice before she dismisses herself to bed.  Steven and Ron agree to a short game as Elyse tries to talk sense into them.  As they bicker, Ron remarks that he can make up faster than Steven can, and the talk worsens before Ron retires for the night.  Steven and Elyse make up as Steven realizes he shouldn't be so competitive.  Ron comes out of the bedroom in a robe and smoking a cigarette and declares a point in victory.

Back home, Alex tries to talk to Mallory who ignores her.  Alex remarks to Jennifer about it, and Jennifer says it's because he yelled at her.  Jennifer leaves to give them room to talk.  Alex apologizes to Mallory, but is persistent in knowing what happened the night before which Mallory denies.  Eric arrives at the door with some flowers for Mallory.  Alex is insulted by it, and is frustrated that Eric was seeing his sister.  Mallory accepts the flowers, and throws them in the trash.  She then berates Eric, before kicking him out.  Mallory then tells Alex how she resisted his advances.  Mallory explains that she understands where Alex is coming from but feels while he was supportive, he acted overprotective.  They hug and make up as Jennifer takes a picture of the embrace.

Next scene, the kids are rushing around cleaning up the house.  Steven and Elyse enter as the kids are being read a book by Alex.  As the kids tell the parents how they were fine, and wish they could have been there to see it, Jennifer remarks how she has pictures to Alex and Mallory's dismay as they contain images of the wild party they threw at the house.

Character Introductions:

Mallory Boyfriend #1: Eric Morson - Charming, attractive schoolmate of Alex.  According to Mallory, he is the high school Captain of 8 varsity teams, very cool, and all the girl's parents hate him.  He is the focus of Mallory's attention throughout most of the episode, until the very end where he tries to take advantage of her unsuccessfully.

Debbie - Attractive girl from high school who attends the Keaton's party.  She flirts with Eric, and attempts to make out (unsuccessfully) with Alex

Ron Davis - Ultra competitive friend of Steven and Elyse.  He and Steven go toe-to-toe in everything, and this leads to some bitter resentment between the couples.

Suzanne Davis - Wife of Ron, and Elyse's friend.  While in love with Ron, she becomes increasingly ever so frustrated at his constant competitive drive for being the absolute best at everything.

Columbus or Bust:

2 different locations:
- Keaton Living Room
- Resort Rental

Best Jokes:

Steven: You have the hotel phone number?
Alex: You wrote it down in every room, along with numbers for police, fire, doctor, every neighbor in a 6-mile radius, and our congressman.

Mallory: (To Eric) I was going to get myself something cold to drink, can I get you anything?
Alex: I'd like a soda.
Mallory: Not You.

Alex: Mallory can't come to the phone right now...she's...insulating the Attic.

Alex: I don't know what I was thinking having a wild party like that.  I mean I'm supposed to be babysitting you kids, not throwing orgies for you...
Jennifer: Alex what's an or...
Alex: DON'T ASK!!

Elyse: So what's next guys, skeet shooting?  Tag team wrestling?  Or how about the old who can hold his breath longer and turn himself blue first contest.

Alex: I believe in a triple standard, one for boys, one for girls, and one for sisters.

Eric: Think you could give me back the flowers?  I've got two more stops to make.

Notable Notations:

- Episode Runtime: 24:11

- This is the first of 2 times the Keatons would celebrate their 20th Wedding Anniversary.

- 3 years later, Jay Tarses would reunite with Michael J. Fox in "Teen Wolf."

- One of few episodes to not feature the Keaton kitchen.

Conclusion:

Classic episode that shows Alex's love of family overpower his love of socializing.  We learn he does truly care for his siblings despite all the teasing and bickering they go through each day.  We see the relationships between both him and Jennifer, and him and Mallory grow stronger, and form a tight sibling bond.  Steven and Elyse show their frustrations with each other as Steven struggles to get a grasp on his competitiveness with Ron.  They eventually overcome this, even as Ron and Suzanne cannot control Ron's competitive state.  In the end, the family is glad to be reunited back at home.

2/176

Seinfeld - S1E1 - "The Seinfeld Chronicles" (Pilot)

Seinfeld

Season 1

Episode 1

"The Seinfeld Chronicles (Pilot)"
Original Airdate: 7/5/1989

Synopsis: The series starts off with a monologue by Jerry Seinfeld, the title character of the show, delivering a stand-up monologue in a comedy club.  He talks about how people are always concerned with going out.  They just need to get out of the house.  Once they are out, they are very concerned with getting back.  He surmises this as regardless of where you are in life, you always need to go.

Jerry and George are in Pete's Restaurant having breakfast, and talking about buttons on George's shirt.  When the waitress comes to refill coffee, George is nervous about his coffee being decaf as there is no orange top.  She assures him that she knows which is which by utilizing the saying "Decaf Left and Regular Right."  Jerry talks about his friend Laura coming out to New York from Michigan.  As Jerry describes his relationship with her, George gets the feeling they would work well, and implies that she only called him to serve as a backup date in case whatever appointment she has in New York fizzles.  Jerry pushes it off as mutual friendship.  George continues to say that girl wants to use Jerry as a backup date, or else why would she call.  He says how when she mentions maybe seeing him, it means no, and she only did it to be polite.  This is agreed upon by the waitress.  While Jerry has his doubts, he tells George to come with him to the laundromat.  George shoots down the idea before the waitress mentions putting a little caffeine in his coffee.  This sends George into a paranoid panic as he exclaims he knew he felt something in his coffee.

Heading to the inside of a laundromat, George stares at the machine, and declares it to be the most boring moment of his life.  Jerry seems more relaxed and comments on another guy in the laundromat and it not being his first load of laundry.  The conversations morphs back in to being about Laura where George continues to say how she doesn't want to see him.  George grows impatient and encourages Jerry to remove his clothing before it becomes "overdry".  Jerry humorously debunks this theory before talking about Laura once again.  Jerry becomes concerned with her not telling him where she is staying as George covertly pops the dryer open and declares excitedly that it is finished.

We go to the comedy club again where Jerry talks about laundry.    He talks about Socks magically escaping the dryer.  He also talks about commercials where detergent is shown to get rid of blood stains, and how ridiculous this example is.

Next we see Jerry in his apartment watching a recorded version the Mets game as the phone begins to ring.  He answers with a disclaimer about not ruining the Mets game.  As he argues with a stranger who called the wrong person, Kessler (Prior to being renamed Kramer) enters as Jerry explains that people move and numbers change.  When he hangs up, Kessler spoils the conclusion of the game for him.

While annoyed about his game now, Kessler asks for lunch meat, to which Jerry tells him to "go, hunt" in the refrigerator.  Jerry asks what happened, and Kessler mentions about how terrible the Mets stunk, and that he almost went to that game.  Jerry shoots down the thought by mentioning how Kessler hasn't been out of the building in 10 years.  Kessler, wearing a bathrobe, eats a roast beef sandwich, and through some staring implications with Jerry, forces to move over so he can sit on  the couch.  He then grabs the magazine Jerry is resting his cereal on which Jerry catches and moves before it can spill.  As he flips through, he tears out a cologne sample, before noticing Jerry is glaring at him.  He asks if he is done using it to which Jerry responds with an annoyed decline.  Kessler attempts to put the same back in by licking the sides of the paper.  Laura then calls, and Kessler insists on talking to her.  Jerry's call from Laura reveals that she actually wants to stay with him at his place.

Next Jerry and George work to move a mattress into Jerry's Apartment.  George continues to question Laura's intentions.  Kessler comes in with his dog who ambushes George followed by grabbing a drink from the toilet.  Kessler takes a look at the spare mattress and inquires why Jerry gives her an option to which Jerry down plays his advice for advancement.  As the discussion continues, Jerry asks about cleaning the bathroom to George's disbelief.  As he heads in to clean, George and Kessler talk about commercial real estate.

We cut next to Jerry in the club talking about the dating world.  He mentions women and their obsession with Cotton Balls which leads the segment.  He also compares Dates to Job Interviews.

We cut to Jerry and George waiting for Laura at the airport.  George attempts to give Jerry advice on the potential ways she may greet him and what they may mean.  As they go through several greetings, Laura arrives and greets Jerry by covering his eyes and shouting "Guess Who!"  George and Jerry confused about her greeting, grab her bags and escort her from the airport.

Back in Jerry's apartment, Laura and Jerry become reacquainted.  Laura gives off subtle hints that Jerry takes as more than friendly (takes shoes off, dims lights, undoes top button of dress, and asks for some wine.)  Jerry obliges with some wine, and they talk about what to do in New York.  Laura asks to stay another night and they plan to go on a boat tour around the city.    As they share a glass of wine, the phone rings, and the caller asks for Laura.  Jerry (unbeknownst to who it is) looks on, and listens in trying to figure out who it is.  After hanging up, Laura says "Never get Engaged".  Jerry is deflated by the revelation and plays off false enjoyment at the news.

Next, we're back to the comedy club where Jerry gives a stand up talking about how hard it is to understand women.  He explains women are subtle, and men are not.  Men don't know what women want, but men know they want women but do not know how to get them.  Jerry discusses how men honk horns to get women's attention unsuccessfully.  He then proceeds to explain how men are always looking for women, and is shocked women read books on "How To Meet Men" because they are everywhere.  The episodes fades out to a credits scene.

Character Introductions:

Jerry Seinfeld - Title Character and New York-based stand up comedian.  His life is the premise of the series, and his strange adventures based on very normal life situations, and his stand-up routine.

George Costanza - Paranoid, neurotic best friend of Jerry.  George is constantly scheming ways to get his point across, get ahead in life, and find true love.  Normally it backfires on him in the most hilarious of ways.

Claire the Waitress - Sarcastic apathetic waitress at Pete's Restaurant.  She gets along with Jerry, but seems incredibly annoyed by George's stupidity.

Cosmo Kramer (Kessler) - Jerry's very eclectic next door neighbor.  According to Jerry, he hasn't been out of the apartment building in 10 years.  He is a very imposing guest, and mooches nearly everything off Jerry.  While kind at heart, he shows a strange knowledge of very random things, and has some questionable friends who he routinely shares about.

Jerry Girlfriend Counter #1: Laura - Though technically not a girlfriend, or even a date for that matter, she is treated as a potential love interest throughout the episode, so I count it here.  She is a Political Science teacher from Michigan who saw Jerry do stand-up in Lansing, and is in New York for a Seminar.  She calls Jerry to meet up, and do a boat tour around Manhattan.

New York or Bust:

5 different locations:
- Comedy Club
- Pete's Restaurant
- Laundromat
- Jerry's Apartment
- JFK Airport

Best Jokes:

Jerry: Once you're out, you wanna go back.  Wherever you are in life, it's my feeling, you wanna go.

George: Listen your stuff has to be done, by now why don't you just see if it's dry?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle the machine is working.  It knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're going to overdry it.
Jerry: You can't overdry something.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same reason you can't overwet.  See, once something is wet, it's wet.  Same thing with death.  Like once you die, you're dead!  Let's say you drop dead, and I shoot you.  You're not gonna die again.  You're already dead!  You can't overdie, you can't overdry.

Jerry: I mean come on, if you've got a t-shirt with blood stains on it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.  You gotta get the harpoon out of your chest first.

*Dog ambushes George, then runs into the bathroom*
Kessler: He's getting a drink of water

Kessler: (After seeing Jerry lay out a spare mattress for Laura) Why even give her an option?
Jerry: This is a person I like.  It's not how to score on Spring Break!

Jerry: Maybe I should clean the bathroom.
George: What do you think, Rock stars have sponges and ammonia lying around the bathroom?

Jerry: I've never been in a situation where I thought to myself "I could use a cotton ball right now."

Jerry: The difference between a date and a job interview is, there's not many job interviews where you may end up naked at the end of the night.

Jerry: Can I get you anything?  Bread, water...Salad dressing?

Jerry: Women are subtle.  Men are not subtle.  Women know what men want, men know what men know what they want.  We want women.

Notable Notations:

- Runtime: 23:05

- Features Pete's Luncheon Restaurant as the main dining setting.  This changes to Monk's later in the series.

- Kramer introduces himself as Kessler.  This changed in the next episode to Kramer, and remained so for the remainder of the series.  This is retconned later on in the series.

- The other series regular Elaine does not appear in the Pilot episode.  She appears beginning in the next episode, and remains the remainder of the series.

- Jerry's nemesis neighbor Neuman, does not appear.

- According to Jerry, his dad smokes cigarettes while moving furniture.

- George apparently reacts badly to caffeine.

- Recorded at Ren-Mar Studios in Los Angeles.

Conclusion:

Solid first episode of "The Greatest Sitcom of the 90's."  It had all the charm of a sitcom, and the humor of a stand-up comedy special.  The little life moments in between the cut scenes were unique and original at the time, and really presented something different that had not been done before.  While not initially picked up, people fought for the show, and eventually one, bringing to life one of the greatest sitcoms in television history.  Bringing us laughter, joy, and eternal pop culture references for 9 seasons.

1/180

TV Show List

TV Show List:

4 Episodes Watched / 5331 Episodes Total - 0.07%

American Dad 0/239 - 0%
Batman (1966) 0/120 - 0%
Beavis and Butthead 1/227 - 0.44%
Cheers 0/270 - 0%
The Cleveland Show - 0/88 - 0%
Designated Survivor - 0/32 - 0%
Family Guy 0/300 - 0%
Family Ties 2/176 - 1.13%
Full House 0/192 - 0%
Fuller House 0/44 - 0%
Happy Days 0/255 - 0%
Home Improvement 0/204 - 0%
Hong Kong Phooey 0/16 - 0%
I Love Lucy 0/161 - 0%
Married With Children 0/259 - 0%
My Name Is Earl 0/96 - 0%
Police Squad 0/6 - 0%
Scooby Doo, Where Are You? 0/41 - 0%
Seinfeld 1/180 - 0.55%
Speed Racer 0/52 - 0%
Star Trek 0/80 - 0%
Star Trek: The Animated Series 0/22 - 0%
Star Trek: The Next Generation 0/178 - 0%
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 0/176 - 0%
Star Trek: Voyager 0/172 - 0%
Star Trek: Enterprise 0/98 - 0%
Star Trek: Discovery - 0/15 - 0%
Stranger Things 0/17 - 0%
The Flintstones 0/166 - 0%
The Michael J. Fox Show 0/22 - 0%
The Simpsons 0/600 - 0%
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) 0/198 - 0%
The Twilight Zone 0/156 - 0%
The Walking Dead 0/75 - 0%
Who's The Boss? 0/196 - 0%
The X-Files 0/202 - 0%

Family Ties - S1E1 - "Pilot"

Family Ties

Season 1

Episode 1

"Pilot"
Original Airdate: 9/22/1982

Synopsis: The series opens as the family watches a slide show of Steven and Elyse's time protesting the Vietnam War in the 1960's as the kids Alex, Mallory, and Jennifer groan, moan, and mock them.

After the opening credits, we are taken into the Keaton kitchen where the family is eating breakfast and getting ready for the day.  After Steve and Elyse greet each other and discuss her architecture plans, Steve showers her with compliments about looking younger, and "Paws" her in affection, which Mallory walks in on and promptly dismisses as disgusting.  A few minutes later we are introduced to Alex P. Keaton, a young man described as "middle-aged" looking by Steven.  Lastly comes Jennifer, looking to learn the capital of Iowa.  Jennifer receives a series of phone calls leading to an argument with Alex over phone usage as he is expecting an important phone call.  When inquired as to who is calling, Mallory jumps in and announces that it is Kimberly Branson, an upper-class girl who is Alex's age, and whom he has a crush on.  As Alex goes back and forth between Mallory's jabs, and Jennifer's phone usage, Kimberly finally calls, and Alex invites her over for dinner and studying for class the next day.

Next we are taken back into the living room as Alex prepares the family for Kimberly's arrival.  He changes everything from the music, to their clothing, hair style and even their posture.  Upon arriving, we get our first glance at Kimberly as Alex apologizes for answering the door due to their "butler" having the night off as the family stares at him bewildered.

Heading into the dining room, we see the Keaton family having dinner with Kimberly.  All is quiet until Elyse strikes up a conversation asking what she is studying in school.  After an inconclusive answer, a deflating conversation about her trip in Southern France, and a humorous exchange about what career path she wants to follow, the dinner ends with Alex impressed, and the rest of the family less so.

The next day, Elyse is in the dining room telephone, working with Mr. Emerson on their housing project.  Alex enters and asks if anyone know the rules for Polo which Kimberly has invited him out to join.  Steven and Elyse are not as familiar with the sport much to Alex's displeasure as he walks away.  The parents make plans to spend a romantic evening together when Mallory walks in and scolds her parents for being mushy again.  Alex comes down the stairs and as he prepares to leave for the day lets them know he will be going to an exclusive upper class country club in the city.  As his parents ask him to consider where he is going, and their snobbish attitude to different people and cultures, Alex dismisses it as he is just going to a party.

We are then shown later in the evening, Steven sits in a darkened living room attempting to call the country club and encourage Alex to leave for his own good.  His attempts to get through are thwarted as he is placed on hold due to not being a member.  Elyse enters and turns the lights on, leading him into a panic, and a pretend conversation about needing car repairs.  After harmless lying, he admits the truth to Elyse, that he is worried about Alex's more conservative views, and that it will pull him away from the family.  Elyse assures him that everything will be alright.

We then go to the country club where Kimberly's family is eating dinner with Alex.  As Mr. Branson asks him some questions, Alex fumbles through some answer while still attempting to get their his first "Upper Class" dinner.  Steven attempts to sneak up to the table but is spotted and called to by Alex.  As the family introduces themselves to Steven, the father asks if anything is the matter.  Steven tells them how nothing is wrong, he just forgot to tell Alex something.  The family insist he take a seat and join them, but Steven graciously declines.  As he passively argues with the family about whether or not to sit down and spend some time with them, he pulls Alex aside, and angrily tells him how much he disagrees with the club and Alex being there.  As he does this, he is served Water in a dinner glass, and hors d'oeuvre being served straight to him.  Alex is later pulled away by Kimberly to dancing.

Steven and the rest of the family talk about how he went a little crazy at the country club and hurt Alex's feelings.  Alex comes downstairs and joins the family as Elyse and the girls dismiss themselves so Alex and Steven can talk one-on-one.  Steven apologizes, and Alex has difficulty accepting it.  He feels very humiliated, and not able to comprehend Steven's actions.  Steven tries to reason with Alex about his actions, and draws comparisons of Alex to his father, and says how it's hard to know people care if they are cold and unemotional unlike himself.  Steven recalls a time where he went to work on the Nixon Campaign because he developed a crush on a girl there, and he betrayed his own principles because he followed his heart to a different place.  Steven tells him that he only does these things because he loves and cares for him.  Alex and Steven ponder whether this will happen again before coming to an understanding that they are both very different and separate people, but love and care for each other.  They shake and hug it out as the show ends.

Character Introductions:

Steven Keaton - The liberal hippy head of the Keaton household.  He works as the Manager of the local Public Broadcasting Station.  A pacifist who is deeply supportive of peace and equality among all people.  He has a strong disliking of anyone deemed elitist, fascist, and exclusionist.

Elyse Keaton - The liberal hippy mother of the house.  She works as an architect for various clients.  She is a bit stronger-willed than Steven, and more assertive with the children.  She shares an equal disliking to more conservative-minded people, but also appears more reasonable when calming Steven down.

Alex P. Keaton - The young Republican son of Steven and Elyse.  He is hyper-focused on success, in a deep passionate love affair with money, and always on the lookout for a new girl to impress.  He has many ideas and schemes to become successful, and uses them to get his way.  Deep down, he has a heart and it comes to light at different times.

Mallory Keaton - The flighty, materialistic, older daughter of Steven and Elyse.  She may not be the most intellectual person in the household (much to Alex's advantage), but she is very crafty, and knowledgable on fashion and romance.  She is dating (much to her parent's disliking) but knows how to hold her own when needed.

Jennifer Keaton - The youngest daughter of Steven and Elyse.  She is still very young and impressionable, but shows assertiveness when prompted based on the knowledge her young mind has acquired.  She has a sense of humor, and sometimes is brutally honest in times when the rest of the family is more reserved.

Alex Girlfriend #1: Kimberly Branson - (As described by Mallory) A super rich chick, with a yellow convertible who looks like a Barbie doll.  As part of her the Branson family, is a member of an exclusive Country Club in Columbus where they enjoy Polo and fine dining.  She wants to help people in the world by seeking employment as a cheerleader.

Mr. Emerson & Family - Unseen clients of Elyse, for whom she is laying down the plans for the home of the couple, and their 8 children.

Columbus or Bust:

4 different locations:
- Keaton Living Room
- Keaton Kitchen
- Keaton Dining Room
- Carlton Country Club

Best Jokes:

Alex: (While watching the Slide Show) "What were you protesting?  Good grooming?

Jennifer: Mommy, you look so pretty...like an Indian Princess.
Elyse: That's your father dear.
Steven: There you are
Jennifer: You look almost as pretty as daddy.

Mallory: Oh God, are you two pawing at each other again?
Steven: I don't consider a legitimate display of affection pawing.  Do you know what pawing is?
Mallory: Of course I know what pawing is, I am dating Richard DiFazzio aren't I?
Steven: Not Anymore

Steven: (On Alex's Study Date) I haven't seen him this excited since Reagan was elected

Steven: (When Alex says the musician sounds like he's in pain) He's supposed to be in pain, he's a folk singer.

Elyse: Well tell me Kimberly, what are you studying in school
Kimberly: Oh...You know...
(Elyse gives a confused look over the lack of response)

Alex: So...Dad...think we may sail around the world this summer?
(Stunned, Steven takes time to think of an answer to the unexpected question)
Steven: I'll be honest with you Alex...it doesn't look good.

Kimberly: If you ever go to the Riveria, you're going to have a really hard time trying to find a decent cheeseburger.

Elyse: Have you decided what you're going to be studying in college?
Kimberly: Well...yeah...see...I really want to dedicate my life into help others, and...well I really want to be a cheerleader.

Steven: Do you think maybe he was switched at birth and the Rockefeller's have our kid?
Elyse: Could be.  I wasn't going to tell you, but this morning I found a copy of the Wall Street Journal under his bed.

Elyse: What your father means is that, the Carlton country club doesn't have any members who are Black, Jewish, or Hispanic, or any other group that didn't come over on the Mayflower.
Alex: I just want to go to a party mom, I don't want to change the world.

Steven: (drinking and eating while scolding Alex) Don't you understand what this place stands for?  It's elitist, it's exclusionary, it's...it's...(Turns to Butler)...boy these things are really great, what are they?
Butler: Rumakis sir
Steven: Are there any without liver?

Notable Notations:

- Episode Runtime: 23:32.

- This features the original season 1 opening credits featuring "Our Love" sung by Johnny Mantis, and showcasing how Steve and Elyse got together, raised a family, and grew into the family we know and love today.  This would remain the opener throughout the remainder of Season 1.

- This episode was the only episode shot at Metromedia Square, before being moved to Paramount Studios for the remainder of the series.

Conclusion:

Overall, not a bad introduction to the Keaton family.  The episode is both funny and entertaining.  We certainly see the political differences between the parents and children, and are introduced to elements that would remain throughout the course of the series.  While the earlier episodes focused more on the parents vs. the later spotlight on Alex, it still feels like a normal episode.  Even in the series premiere, you already feel the sense of family as they enjoy breakfast and treat each other much like every other family in America (in some respects, even still today).  Very well done, and this is part of why the series endured for 7 seasons.

1/176