Seinfeld
Season 1
Episode 1
"The Seinfeld Chronicles (Pilot)"
Original Airdate: 7/5/1989
Original Airdate: 7/5/1989
Synopsis: The series starts off with a monologue by Jerry Seinfeld, the title character of the show, delivering a stand-up monologue in a comedy club. He talks about how people are always concerned with going out. They just need to get out of the house. Once they are out, they are very concerned with getting back. He surmises this as regardless of where you are in life, you always need to go.
Jerry and George are in Pete's Restaurant having breakfast, and talking about buttons on George's shirt. When the waitress comes to refill coffee, George is nervous about his coffee being decaf as there is no orange top. She assures him that she knows which is which by utilizing the saying "Decaf Left and Regular Right." Jerry talks about his friend Laura coming out to New York from Michigan. As Jerry describes his relationship with her, George gets the feeling they would work well, and implies that she only called him to serve as a backup date in case whatever appointment she has in New York fizzles. Jerry pushes it off as mutual friendship. George continues to say that girl wants to use Jerry as a backup date, or else why would she call. He says how when she mentions maybe seeing him, it means no, and she only did it to be polite. This is agreed upon by the waitress. While Jerry has his doubts, he tells George to come with him to the laundromat. George shoots down the idea before the waitress mentions putting a little caffeine in his coffee. This sends George into a paranoid panic as he exclaims he knew he felt something in his coffee.
Heading to the inside of a laundromat, George stares at the machine, and declares it to be the most boring moment of his life. Jerry seems more relaxed and comments on another guy in the laundromat and it not being his first load of laundry. The conversations morphs back in to being about Laura where George continues to say how she doesn't want to see him. George grows impatient and encourages Jerry to remove his clothing before it becomes "overdry". Jerry humorously debunks this theory before talking about Laura once again. Jerry becomes concerned with her not telling him where she is staying as George covertly pops the dryer open and declares excitedly that it is finished.
We go to the comedy club again where Jerry talks about laundry. He talks about Socks magically escaping the dryer. He also talks about commercials where detergent is shown to get rid of blood stains, and how ridiculous this example is.
Next we see Jerry in his apartment watching a recorded version the Mets game as the phone begins to ring. He answers with a disclaimer about not ruining the Mets game. As he argues with a stranger who called the wrong person, Kessler (Prior to being renamed Kramer) enters as Jerry explains that people move and numbers change. When he hangs up, Kessler spoils the conclusion of the game for him.
While annoyed about his game now, Kessler asks for lunch meat, to which Jerry tells him to "go, hunt" in the refrigerator. Jerry asks what happened, and Kessler mentions about how terrible the Mets stunk, and that he almost went to that game. Jerry shoots down the thought by mentioning how Kessler hasn't been out of the building in 10 years. Kessler, wearing a bathrobe, eats a roast beef sandwich, and through some staring implications with Jerry, forces to move over so he can sit on the couch. He then grabs the magazine Jerry is resting his cereal on which Jerry catches and moves before it can spill. As he flips through, he tears out a cologne sample, before noticing Jerry is glaring at him. He asks if he is done using it to which Jerry responds with an annoyed decline. Kessler attempts to put the same back in by licking the sides of the paper. Laura then calls, and Kessler insists on talking to her. Jerry's call from Laura reveals that she actually wants to stay with him at his place.
Next Jerry and George work to move a mattress into Jerry's Apartment. George continues to question Laura's intentions. Kessler comes in with his dog who ambushes George followed by grabbing a drink from the toilet. Kessler takes a look at the spare mattress and inquires why Jerry gives her an option to which Jerry down plays his advice for advancement. As the discussion continues, Jerry asks about cleaning the bathroom to George's disbelief. As he heads in to clean, George and Kessler talk about commercial real estate.
We cut next to Jerry in the club talking about the dating world. He mentions women and their obsession with Cotton Balls which leads the segment. He also compares Dates to Job Interviews.
We cut to Jerry and George waiting for Laura at the airport. George attempts to give Jerry advice on the potential ways she may greet him and what they may mean. As they go through several greetings, Laura arrives and greets Jerry by covering his eyes and shouting "Guess Who!" George and Jerry confused about her greeting, grab her bags and escort her from the airport.
Back in Jerry's apartment, Laura and Jerry become reacquainted. Laura gives off subtle hints that Jerry takes as more than friendly (takes shoes off, dims lights, undoes top button of dress, and asks for some wine.) Jerry obliges with some wine, and they talk about what to do in New York. Laura asks to stay another night and they plan to go on a boat tour around the city. As they share a glass of wine, the phone rings, and the caller asks for Laura. Jerry (unbeknownst to who it is) looks on, and listens in trying to figure out who it is. After hanging up, Laura says "Never get Engaged". Jerry is deflated by the revelation and plays off false enjoyment at the news.
Next, we're back to the comedy club where Jerry gives a stand up talking about how hard it is to understand women. He explains women are subtle, and men are not. Men don't know what women want, but men know they want women but do not know how to get them. Jerry discusses how men honk horns to get women's attention unsuccessfully. He then proceeds to explain how men are always looking for women, and is shocked women read books on "How To Meet Men" because they are everywhere. The episodes fades out to a credits scene.
Jerry and George are in Pete's Restaurant having breakfast, and talking about buttons on George's shirt. When the waitress comes to refill coffee, George is nervous about his coffee being decaf as there is no orange top. She assures him that she knows which is which by utilizing the saying "Decaf Left and Regular Right." Jerry talks about his friend Laura coming out to New York from Michigan. As Jerry describes his relationship with her, George gets the feeling they would work well, and implies that she only called him to serve as a backup date in case whatever appointment she has in New York fizzles. Jerry pushes it off as mutual friendship. George continues to say that girl wants to use Jerry as a backup date, or else why would she call. He says how when she mentions maybe seeing him, it means no, and she only did it to be polite. This is agreed upon by the waitress. While Jerry has his doubts, he tells George to come with him to the laundromat. George shoots down the idea before the waitress mentions putting a little caffeine in his coffee. This sends George into a paranoid panic as he exclaims he knew he felt something in his coffee.
Heading to the inside of a laundromat, George stares at the machine, and declares it to be the most boring moment of his life. Jerry seems more relaxed and comments on another guy in the laundromat and it not being his first load of laundry. The conversations morphs back in to being about Laura where George continues to say how she doesn't want to see him. George grows impatient and encourages Jerry to remove his clothing before it becomes "overdry". Jerry humorously debunks this theory before talking about Laura once again. Jerry becomes concerned with her not telling him where she is staying as George covertly pops the dryer open and declares excitedly that it is finished.
We go to the comedy club again where Jerry talks about laundry. He talks about Socks magically escaping the dryer. He also talks about commercials where detergent is shown to get rid of blood stains, and how ridiculous this example is.
Next we see Jerry in his apartment watching a recorded version the Mets game as the phone begins to ring. He answers with a disclaimer about not ruining the Mets game. As he argues with a stranger who called the wrong person, Kessler (Prior to being renamed Kramer) enters as Jerry explains that people move and numbers change. When he hangs up, Kessler spoils the conclusion of the game for him.
While annoyed about his game now, Kessler asks for lunch meat, to which Jerry tells him to "go, hunt" in the refrigerator. Jerry asks what happened, and Kessler mentions about how terrible the Mets stunk, and that he almost went to that game. Jerry shoots down the thought by mentioning how Kessler hasn't been out of the building in 10 years. Kessler, wearing a bathrobe, eats a roast beef sandwich, and through some staring implications with Jerry, forces to move over so he can sit on the couch. He then grabs the magazine Jerry is resting his cereal on which Jerry catches and moves before it can spill. As he flips through, he tears out a cologne sample, before noticing Jerry is glaring at him. He asks if he is done using it to which Jerry responds with an annoyed decline. Kessler attempts to put the same back in by licking the sides of the paper. Laura then calls, and Kessler insists on talking to her. Jerry's call from Laura reveals that she actually wants to stay with him at his place.
Next Jerry and George work to move a mattress into Jerry's Apartment. George continues to question Laura's intentions. Kessler comes in with his dog who ambushes George followed by grabbing a drink from the toilet. Kessler takes a look at the spare mattress and inquires why Jerry gives her an option to which Jerry down plays his advice for advancement. As the discussion continues, Jerry asks about cleaning the bathroom to George's disbelief. As he heads in to clean, George and Kessler talk about commercial real estate.
We cut next to Jerry in the club talking about the dating world. He mentions women and their obsession with Cotton Balls which leads the segment. He also compares Dates to Job Interviews.
We cut to Jerry and George waiting for Laura at the airport. George attempts to give Jerry advice on the potential ways she may greet him and what they may mean. As they go through several greetings, Laura arrives and greets Jerry by covering his eyes and shouting "Guess Who!" George and Jerry confused about her greeting, grab her bags and escort her from the airport.
Back in Jerry's apartment, Laura and Jerry become reacquainted. Laura gives off subtle hints that Jerry takes as more than friendly (takes shoes off, dims lights, undoes top button of dress, and asks for some wine.) Jerry obliges with some wine, and they talk about what to do in New York. Laura asks to stay another night and they plan to go on a boat tour around the city. As they share a glass of wine, the phone rings, and the caller asks for Laura. Jerry (unbeknownst to who it is) looks on, and listens in trying to figure out who it is. After hanging up, Laura says "Never get Engaged". Jerry is deflated by the revelation and plays off false enjoyment at the news.
Next, we're back to the comedy club where Jerry gives a stand up talking about how hard it is to understand women. He explains women are subtle, and men are not. Men don't know what women want, but men know they want women but do not know how to get them. Jerry discusses how men honk horns to get women's attention unsuccessfully. He then proceeds to explain how men are always looking for women, and is shocked women read books on "How To Meet Men" because they are everywhere. The episodes fades out to a credits scene.
Character Introductions:
Jerry Seinfeld - Title Character and New York-based stand up comedian. His life is the premise of the series, and his strange adventures based on very normal life situations, and his stand-up routine.
George Costanza - Paranoid, neurotic best friend of Jerry. George is constantly scheming ways to get his point across, get ahead in life, and find true love. Normally it backfires on him in the most hilarious of ways.
Claire the Waitress - Sarcastic apathetic waitress at Pete's Restaurant. She gets along with Jerry, but seems incredibly annoyed by George's stupidity.
Cosmo Kramer (Kessler) - Jerry's very eclectic next door neighbor. According to Jerry, he hasn't been out of the apartment building in 10 years. He is a very imposing guest, and mooches nearly everything off Jerry. While kind at heart, he shows a strange knowledge of very random things, and has some questionable friends who he routinely shares about.
Jerry Girlfriend Counter #1: Laura - Though technically not a girlfriend, or even a date for that matter, she is treated as a potential love interest throughout the episode, so I count it here. She is a Political Science teacher from Michigan who saw Jerry do stand-up in Lansing, and is in New York for a Seminar. She calls Jerry to meet up, and do a boat tour around Manhattan.
Jerry Seinfeld - Title Character and New York-based stand up comedian. His life is the premise of the series, and his strange adventures based on very normal life situations, and his stand-up routine.
George Costanza - Paranoid, neurotic best friend of Jerry. George is constantly scheming ways to get his point across, get ahead in life, and find true love. Normally it backfires on him in the most hilarious of ways.
Claire the Waitress - Sarcastic apathetic waitress at Pete's Restaurant. She gets along with Jerry, but seems incredibly annoyed by George's stupidity.
Cosmo Kramer (Kessler) - Jerry's very eclectic next door neighbor. According to Jerry, he hasn't been out of the apartment building in 10 years. He is a very imposing guest, and mooches nearly everything off Jerry. While kind at heart, he shows a strange knowledge of very random things, and has some questionable friends who he routinely shares about.
Jerry Girlfriend Counter #1: Laura - Though technically not a girlfriend, or even a date for that matter, she is treated as a potential love interest throughout the episode, so I count it here. She is a Political Science teacher from Michigan who saw Jerry do stand-up in Lansing, and is in New York for a Seminar. She calls Jerry to meet up, and do a boat tour around Manhattan.
New York or Bust:
5 different locations:
- Comedy Club
- Pete's Restaurant
- Laundromat
- Jerry's Apartment
- JFK Airport
5 different locations:
- Comedy Club
- Pete's Restaurant
- Laundromat
- Jerry's Apartment
- JFK Airport
Best Jokes:
Jerry: Once you're out, you wanna go back. Wherever you are in life, it's my feeling, you wanna go.
George: Listen your stuff has to be done, by now why don't you just see if it's dry?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle the machine is working. It knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're going to overdry it.
Jerry: You can't overdry something.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same reason you can't overwet. See, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with death. Like once you die, you're dead! Let's say you drop dead, and I shoot you. You're not gonna die again. You're already dead! You can't overdie, you can't overdry.
Jerry: I mean come on, if you've got a t-shirt with blood stains on it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now. You gotta get the harpoon out of your chest first.
*Dog ambushes George, then runs into the bathroom*
Kessler: He's getting a drink of water
Kessler: (After seeing Jerry lay out a spare mattress for Laura) Why even give her an option?
Jerry: This is a person I like. It's not how to score on Spring Break!
Jerry: Maybe I should clean the bathroom.
George: What do you think, Rock stars have sponges and ammonia lying around the bathroom?
Jerry: I've never been in a situation where I thought to myself "I could use a cotton ball right now."
Jerry: The difference between a date and a job interview is, there's not many job interviews where you may end up naked at the end of the night.
Jerry: Can I get you anything? Bread, water...Salad dressing?
Jerry: Women are subtle. Men are not subtle. Women know what men want, men know what men know what they want. We want women.
Jerry: Once you're out, you wanna go back. Wherever you are in life, it's my feeling, you wanna go.
George: Listen your stuff has to be done, by now why don't you just see if it's dry?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle the machine is working. It knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're going to overdry it.
Jerry: You can't overdry something.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same reason you can't overwet. See, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with death. Like once you die, you're dead! Let's say you drop dead, and I shoot you. You're not gonna die again. You're already dead! You can't overdie, you can't overdry.
Jerry: I mean come on, if you've got a t-shirt with blood stains on it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now. You gotta get the harpoon out of your chest first.
*Dog ambushes George, then runs into the bathroom*
Kessler: He's getting a drink of water
Kessler: (After seeing Jerry lay out a spare mattress for Laura) Why even give her an option?
Jerry: This is a person I like. It's not how to score on Spring Break!
Jerry: Maybe I should clean the bathroom.
George: What do you think, Rock stars have sponges and ammonia lying around the bathroom?
Jerry: I've never been in a situation where I thought to myself "I could use a cotton ball right now."
Jerry: The difference between a date and a job interview is, there's not many job interviews where you may end up naked at the end of the night.
Jerry: Can I get you anything? Bread, water...Salad dressing?
Jerry: Women are subtle. Men are not subtle. Women know what men want, men know what men know what they want. We want women.
Notable Notations:
- Runtime: 23:05
- Features Pete's Luncheon Restaurant as the main dining setting. This changes to Monk's later in the series.
- Kramer introduces himself as Kessler. This changed in the next episode to Kramer, and remained so for the remainder of the series. This is retconned later on in the series.
- The other series regular Elaine does not appear in the Pilot episode. She appears beginning in the next episode, and remains the remainder of the series.
- Jerry's nemesis neighbor Neuman, does not appear.
- According to Jerry, his dad smokes cigarettes while moving furniture.
- George apparently reacts badly to caffeine.
- Recorded at Ren-Mar Studios in Los Angeles.
- Runtime: 23:05
- Features Pete's Luncheon Restaurant as the main dining setting. This changes to Monk's later in the series.
- Kramer introduces himself as Kessler. This changed in the next episode to Kramer, and remained so for the remainder of the series. This is retconned later on in the series.
- The other series regular Elaine does not appear in the Pilot episode. She appears beginning in the next episode, and remains the remainder of the series.
- Jerry's nemesis neighbor Neuman, does not appear.
- According to Jerry, his dad smokes cigarettes while moving furniture.
- George apparently reacts badly to caffeine.
- Recorded at Ren-Mar Studios in Los Angeles.
Conclusion:
Solid first episode of "The Greatest Sitcom of the 90's." It had all the charm of a sitcom, and the humor of a stand-up comedy special. The little life moments in between the cut scenes were unique and original at the time, and really presented something different that had not been done before. While not initially picked up, people fought for the show, and eventually one, bringing to life one of the greatest sitcoms in television history. Bringing us laughter, joy, and eternal pop culture references for 9 seasons.
Solid first episode of "The Greatest Sitcom of the 90's." It had all the charm of a sitcom, and the humor of a stand-up comedy special. The little life moments in between the cut scenes were unique and original at the time, and really presented something different that had not been done before. While not initially picked up, people fought for the show, and eventually one, bringing to life one of the greatest sitcoms in television history. Bringing us laughter, joy, and eternal pop culture references for 9 seasons.
1/180
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